“Some people feel the rain, others just get wet.” – Bob Marley
That’s a loaded observation by the ‘King of Reggae’ and it conveys a strong emotional meaning based on the different situations that most people find themselves in. Similarly, there are people who hear but do not listen. If you tell them about it, they will wonder, what’s the difference between hearing and listening. There’s actually a lot of difference between the two.
When you just hear, you only get the noise but when you listen, you try to make sense of what you hear. Bob Marley had used rain as a metaphor to represent emotions which some folks can feel while others cannot.
A lot is being said and written about how easy or difficult it is to get along with people. In this discourse, the emphasis is usually on developing positive and supportive relationships.
While that is true it would also be helpful to know what is required to build positive and supportive relationships.
Start with listening to what others have to say
A good listener is someone with whom most people feel comfortable and easy. While speaking withanyone, if you find that s/he is constantly interjecting and telling you ‘Yes, I know that’, you won’t like to continue speaking.
Thereafter, you will reduce your interaction with this person and depending on how the relationship continues you might even end the relationship altogether. In the same way, if you behave like this with someone whom you know well and are trying to build a relationship with, that person would also try and minimize interaction with you.
Therefore, developing the ability and habit of listening more intently to people with whom you are building relationships, is very important.
Always appreciate the differences as normal
We oftentimes hear the term, ‘like-minded’ people whom we refer to as those with whom we can easily get along with. Nothing wrong with that but can we turn our back to those whom we don’t agree with?
Surely, that would leave very few if any individuals with whom you can hope to build any worthwhile relationship. That’s because even with so-called like-minded people you are going to have some differences of opinion.
Thankfully, if you are patient, you will find that even those whom you don’t think are like-minded, might agree with you on certain matters.
Knowing what to say or not to say is important
It is extremely important to know how to speak, what to speak and when to speak. For that you need to try and understand the different types of people you interact with. There are many things that you can say to one person that you cannot say to another and vice versa.
Unless you know how to make these distinctions, building relationships could be challenging. Oftentimes, people end up damaging a perfectly good relationship just by uttering one wrong word in front of a person they have known for years.
Spending time together helps in close bonding
One of the best ways to build a relationship is to spend quality time together with the person you want to build a good relationship.
That situation doesn’t come very easily because most relationships begin on a formal note and then depending on the vibes of the stakeholders, progresses further.
It really makes one feel liked and appreciated when someone they know well, decides to spend quality time with them.
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